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As part of my mental strengthening attempts, I am trying to face some of my genuine fears from time to time - not only the fear of the backdoor flush that completed on the river. This one might seem ridiculous to most of you but it was a real challenge for me. Not only in terms of being able to be there for two days but also to find ways to focus and be productive in an environment full of dangerous monsters ^^
Meet Soya, the adorable monster.
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 After more than a year of lockdowns and restrictions, I still see a surprising amount of people with no plan what so ever in terms of down time management and giving in to wasting copious amounts of time. Nature around us knows no such thing as inaction. So why should we?
Inaction can be defined as the lack of action where some is expected or appropriate. Everything evolves, matures, grows, changes, betters, worsens, decays, accelerates & decelerates in nature. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly but nothing is ever still. Actually, you might think that you're just reading this text. On the bus, on a train. Even if you're in a lobby or on the couch you haven't left in two days., you are still traveling an incredible distance every second you don't move. What can a poet teach us about Poker?I got a book from a friend a few weeks ago. The Book of Disquiet is about Bernardo Soares, a Lisbon book keeper recording impressions and feelings he doesn’t intend to publish. Anyone who attempts to kickstart a big project, will sooner or later realise that hope and expectations walk hand in hand. The first is driving, the second might be crippling when making dreams compete with achievements. It is widely agreed that being result oriented is a major barrier to evolution and development, yet everybody is.  ... except maybe for the fact that there are many things we do not know. Surviving modern life has become a lot like playing Poker these days: navigating a huge amount of incomplete information. I plan, I cancel, I plan again, I reschedule ... I cancel and then I plan again, maybe. Taking decisions feels like rolling a dice and making any sorts of plans feels audacious. In order to be able to move forward at all, I try to use what I have learned playing cards: not to be too much of a result oriented fool.  Ricardo Barros in Namur, Belgium (2018): in the middle of not knowing :-)
It has been a while since I have used my favourite hashtag, #allineverywhere , on social media. In late April 2020, more than a full month into the first European Covid wave and locked up in Luxembourg, I was publishing a post about how questionnable it was to consider a live comeback in 2020. Back then, I thought of myself: 'What a nit! - Of course there will be plenty of games again in a few months ... right?'
Wave after wave, the virus sweeps our lifestyle away.
Portugal has entered its 4th month of winter 2020/2021 lockdown. Psychologically speaking, this one has struck me a lot harder than the spring lockdown of 2020. With all work projects down the drain and almost no opportunities to play live, my focus has stayed on online Poker and studying A LOT but we all know how your soul starts melting when you hit a longer streak of swinging down variance lane and I was forced to navigate strong inner emotional currents. My mum keeps hating it :-p but it still looks like playing Poker is THE revenue generating activity that will make me stay afloat. That said, I have only been staying afloat financially. Mentally, the ride through the winter months has been rough and ugly.  |
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